This morning I woke up to the news of the Las Vegas shooter. I had some text from family wondering if I was ok and even questions from people I haven’t heard from in a while. Immediately I read online about the shooting and started texting, replying, and making sure my husband was ok.
I thought maybe he had to skip work but he wasn’t very late. He didn’t know what was going on and why there was so much traffic. While he was able to go to work, some of his coworkers had to be turn away due to parts of the strip being closed. It’s surreal what is going on. While people close to me are safe, and people I haven’t heard from a while are ok, they have friends or relatives who were at that concert.
I had to stop reading the news after I notice I stress ate all day. It’s what I do to cope when I’m stressed. So I just had to stop reading the news, and stay off social media. The news in general is frustrating because in reality I feel they are reporting news that benefits them and not the people trying to find out why this happened.
My father in law is visiting us near my husband’s birthday which is Halloween. It’s been a really long time since he visited. Actually the last time he visited was when Calvin was born but I didn’t get to go home. I didn’t get to spend very much time with him but at least he and my husband spent some time together.
He doesn’t visit often because he feels he is intruding. Which is weird for him to say because we love visiting him. So I am a little nervous because right now I’m trying to clean my house and fix up the guest room for him. I am looking forward to his visit but I hate to admit it’s like I want him to be please with our lifestyle. The Martha Stewart in me has been on vacation… forever. Ok the Martha Stewart in me is still in training and isn’t graduating in home making anytime soon.
I think I would faint of embarrassment if he ever EVER walks in to my eBay room. It’s not organized or categorized.
As my son lives the carefree life of a toddler, I’m always wondering if what I’m doing will help him become a good person. I’m also wondering how can I protect him? Then I remind myself I can’t. I can always hole him up at home and give him things he wants but I know that isn’t right.
I want to protect him from his first heartbreak. My heart rate always raises a little when he falls and gets a boo boo. I also try to expose him to things hes not normally around (like outside, it’s friggin hot right now). I also try to limit him to shows he won’t pick up bad words from. Yet in reality I do have to say no, and let him fall, and let him get dirty.
I mentioned back something awful happened to my side of my family which is currently under investigation. While I’m not under investigation, close direct family members are and it’s already tearing my family apart. It involves one of my nephew and niece and this really is proof we can’t protect our children. I wish I can blog about it more but it would just make me cry.
Quick blog today. I just wanted to blog about something my husband’s therapist said that really resonated with me. “We are emotional beings trying to be rational, which doesn’t always make sense to do.” That’s the gist of it. There was definitely more to that saying but hearing it really made me think. This struggle to be “Happy” probably is really everyone trying to be rational, and maybe trying to be seen as normal.
There is always this need for everybody from all walks of life just trying to make it day by day. Even people like me who is seemingly happy does need therapy to truly understand what I need and want. I’m not the one seeing a therapist but there are times I wish I could speak to one to truly understand why I behave the way I do and how to effectively live my life. Then again I am an emotional being trying to be rational. No one always lives their life effectively as possible.
As for my husband, yes its sessions for a while. I’m glad his therapist suggested he sees him one on one. My husband really wanted me to be there but it didn’t felt right to me.I know we generally don’t keep secrets from each other but I shouldn’t be the only outlet for him to deal with what’s going on with him. If you just happened to click by, my husband has been having anxiety and depressive episodes. Which may or may not have any relations to his childhood ADD. His therapist seems to think so though.
Just a note: I’m actually more active on my instagram page maithriftsthings. Click there to see my latest post.
My latest post on Instagram was me posting my numbers on eBay & Poshmark. My numbers were great in my opinion. Most of those items sold were stuff I’ve been trying to get rid of so I sold them at cost plus fees. Aside from my reseller life, we bought a new (used) car, and finally had our first meeting for a therapist.
On eBay my total sales (does not minus fees, shipping, taxes, etc) was $2470.00 I’m REALLY happy with that number because that means my profit after said fees, shipping, and taxes) is usually 50% or 60% of whatever I sell. So let’s just say I profitted $1,250.00 Much needed profit for the new used car we bought (eBay also pays my side of bills such as insurances, and etc).
Yup… we bought a car for my husband. Actually we bought a minivan. My husband car was a 2001 Honda Civic and it was just getting costly to fix. Plus with our growing family, we wanted something bigger. Could we afford it? Well to be honest no. I still had my student loans to pay off. The car payment is roughly $300.00 a month…except it’s for 72 months. It’s not super expensive but why would we get a loan for 72 months? Couldn’t we just get a car that’s $200 a month? Sure but to be honest we have been talking about getting a minivan for a while now. Plus I have been putting $500-$700 in the savings account based on the profits of reselling. The 72 months gave us the better rate of 2.5 percent . I’m hoping we can pay this off earlier though. We are talking about paying $350 instead of $300 a month to speed off paying it off.
Another thing I want to mention was that we finally saw the consultant at the Mental Health place for my husband. It went well and she referred us to a licensed therapist who has dealt with people who are suffering the same depressive episodes. She doesn’t think my husband needs medication right now but it’s for the other therapist to really do a better diagnosis. She is a licensed therapist too but she feels the other one would be a better fit. It’s a therapy sessions for us for the next couple of months and I am happy. My husband is happy too and feels he should have done this sooner.
Today is Saturday. Usually on this day I’m pretty busy. Listing, shipping, cleaning, watching Calvin, and planning what to make for dinner for the whole week. I’m in a blah kind of mood so I decide to just take a break from everything but taking care of my Son and dinner. The mess will be here tomorrow still and my eBay store is still up and running.
Do you have one of those days? Most days I just charge on even if I am tired but today I’m just tired. I feel it in my bones I need to rest. I feel fortunate that this is a luxury I can do. Technically I’m still busy doing mommy duties but that’s a duty I don’t turn off ever even if I am sick.
It finally happen Y’all! My husband has agreed to see a therapist! I don’t write here enough about it. I mentioned in the past that he has been having high anxiety and OCD tendencies. He has been like this for at least 4 months and it just felt forever. I love my husband but just watching him suffer hurts me. If you have a love one who is literally begging you to see one then you probably should think of it. Even if it will cost money.
Unfortunately we will have to wait until August for his initial consultation. The office we want to go to is very busy. Also Nevada doesn’t exactly have a good system in mental health so finding a decent doctor is hard. Let’s hope we get a good one because I just want him to stop having so much anxiety.
If you just stumbled onto this page because of this title only, let me tell you a little about my husband. He does have a history of ADD. He went through many doctors, medications to get his ADD in control. Unfortunately I think around high school he wanted to stop taking medication. So he did and has done pretty good without it until now. I have a feeling we will have to go through tests and I’m not familiar with it. Especially since he is an adult. Let’s hope everything works out and I can’t wait for the first appointment. If you have anything to say that is HELPFUL to comment feel free to comment below. I do have to approve comments since I do not pay for spam not to be posted.